Lil' Genghis, future world leader Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Baby-industrial complex

In one of his final speeches, President Dwight D. Eisenhower warned, in 1961, of the growing strength of a military-industrial complex.

A few years back, a coworker named Lenn Sisson decried the existence of the wedding-industrial complex, which takes a $7 disposable camera, puts it in a white box with pastel writing, and sells it as a wedding camera for $12. Today, mom and dad got a bit more familiar with the baby-industrial complex. dad is intrigued at its insidious nature.

One major difference betwixt the wedding-industrial complex and the baby-industrial complex is that few baby items are dual-use. Sure, it's possible to use a baby stroller as a handy alcohol-toting device, but a basinette is pretty much a basinette.

Seems like there's more than a little bit of snobbery going on, though. The often-subtle marketing seems to be hinting that the purchase of just one more item will mean the difference between raising a crack-addicted assistant trainee prostitute and raising a Nobel Prize-winning fifth-grade student. Witness just one name: Baby Einstein. Wikipedia makes no particular note about Albert Einstein's upbringing, while it does not that Baby Einstein was created some 119 years after its namesake. While mom is appalled at the idea, dad realizes that Lil' Genghis and the dogs may wind up sharing toys. Hey, if he turns out to be a serial killer, we'll just blame society and the liberal media.

Because surely parenting decisions are never to blame, right? Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.
Three-year-old Chloe Colligan picks out her camp clothes at discount retailer Target, but for other occasions, she wears the cashmere, velvet, silk and woven cotton fashions of luxury children's clothing maker Baby CZ. ... Children's clothing chain Gymboree Corp. is expanding its high-end offerings for infants, a population known more for spitting up than for fancy dress balls. ...

But what happens when an 18-month-old spits up on his or her cashmere sweater?

"It's a little bit of a misconception that something is uncleanable or unwearable if something happens to it," said Colligan, who also has a 2-year-old daughter named Somerset. "I can find a way to clean anything."
dad is sure this train of thought had something to do with the beginning of this blog post. Perhaps it was the thought that crack cocaine must somehow be involved ...


  • Quick tip:

    A stroller can be used for more than just toting babies and/or booze. It can also be used for toting high-powered rifles, stolen toilet paper, illegal immigrants (albeit short ones), and, ironically, condoms.

    How many condoms, you ask? Approximately 1,576. Give or take.

    By Blogger karla, at 19/8/06 00:50  

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