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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Nuckin' futs!!

Things you only see in a home with a pregnant woman:

Scene 1: mom gets back from work tired, walks dogs, cooks dinner, cleans, all before dad comes from an equally long, tiring day. mom tells dad she's going to shower before she indulges in some high quality TV. She walks into the bathroom, undresses, and all of a sudden she starts having some funny deja-vu. She thinks she might have already showered this evening, but she's not completely sure. She simply can't remember whether she took a shower in the past hours. Not that cleaning oneself up twice in the same evening is a bad thing, mom is Brazilian and thus very fond of showers no matter how critical others may be, but what really drives her crazy is simply the fact that she's blanked out and can't remember. So she proceeds in looking for clues to solve her maddening question: she touches her towel to see if it's wet, she checks inside the shower. Not happy with her unsolved dilemma, she goes on to sniffing her armpits. Now that's not a pretty scene, unless you come from a Bonobo culture, where the habit is widely accepted and doesn't cause anyone else to cringe. Luckily, dad was in the TV room and didn't have to bear witness to that.

Scene 2: mom gets home hungry, goes to the bathroom, realizes she needs a feminine hygiene item that is currently stored in a cabinet adjacent to the kitchen. While there she decides to save some time and grab something to cook for dinner. She picks a package of noodles, goes into the kitchen and fills a pan with water to boil and prepare the noodles. Then she starts looking for the cooking instructions for that particular brand of noodles and she reads frantically looking for cook time, when to add the powdered sauce... on the box of pantiliners. While doing that she was also emptying the dishwasher because mom is ever the multitasker. When she realizes she's reading the pantiliner box for cooking instructions she starts laughing at herself in a mix of disbelief and embarrassment and when she looks for the package of noodles she can't find it.

You probably solved the puzzle by now if you are not pregnant.

Where are the noodles?

In the dishwasher, of course. Where else??

9 Comments:

  • Hon? I love ya.

    This might be useful on those nights I come home a little late, though. =)

    By Anonymous dad, at 28/11/06 23:06  

  • LOL....

    it´s way too funny!!!!!
    Miss ya a lot!
    hope you are doing fine!

    Bernie

    By Anonymous Bernardo Vieira, at 29/11/06 08:07  

  • See, my excuse is I had brain surgery ..... twice.

    By Anonymous Leeanne, at 29/11/06 11:27  

  • This gotta be genetic..Melissa witness these kind of stuff every 2nd day 'round here... :P

    By Anonymous unclerod, at 30/11/06 14:51  

  • I mean, witnesses this kind of stuff..see? O.o

    By Anonymous unclerod, at 30/11/06 14:52  

  • Unclerod, why do you have so many pantiliners?

    By Anonymous dad, at 30/11/06 19:39  

  • hehehehe

    OK I'll resist the temptation to give you an answer, Suzy told me she wants to save this blog to posterity and show it to Isabella someday, so I wanna come up as the nice, cool uncle, not the smart-a** daddy.

    (see, I am so polite I write a**, not ass)

    By Anonymous unclerod, at 1/12/06 03:28  

  • ..and now I re-read my last post and I noticed that the end makes no sense.

    OK, I'll settle for a nice, cool, yet slightly nuts uncle.

    By Anonymous unclerod, at 1/12/06 03:33  

  • It's 4 a.m. and I'm sitting here laughing like crazy .... brings back wonderful memories ... 30-year old memories jogged by your blog ... thank you Suze!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gone but not forgotten (I hope) Claudia

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8/12/06 03:59  

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