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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Racing characteristics of the pregnant woman

In general terms, pregnancy plays utter havoc with the racing characteristics of the female form.

For one, greater instability is added as the center of balance shifts forward of the centerline of the feet.

Greater mass at medium altitude shifts the height of the center of gravity, making cornering more difficulty.

The body itself increases in size, limiting clearance and thus increasing the distance needed for formerly tight turns.

Internal changes, such as expanding tendons and widening hips, introduce greater slack into the system and thus decrease stability and control.

Social changes are often associated with the physical changes as the pregnancy term extends and the racing ability decreases. We'd expect that the pregnant woman's partner would be more supportive and understanding, such that he would not try to get a dog to beat the pregnant woman to her side of the bed. And we'd expect the pregnant woman would realize she is no longer as capable of full-scale competition and would adjust her perspective of reality to avoid the toughest races.

That all said, then, we'd hardly expect the pregnant woman to outrace the dog to the bed, and we'd really hope she wouldn't keep moving until she fell off the side of the bed, laughing all the way.

In short, the offspring is just fine, but will almost certainly read this blog years later and ponder the beginnings of doubt in her mind: Just which parent was lacking more in maturity? Who was more fun?

3 Comments:

  • As long as she keeps the emissions low, I guess it's O.K.

    /runs

    By Anonymous UncleRod, at 15/12/06 07:33  

  • Ha ha ha.

    (Mike, the laptop is yours. Enjoy!)

    "Hell has no wrath like the woman with lower back pain" =DDD

    By Anonymous mom, at 15/12/06 09:10  

  • UncleRod, we're making you special plates of dried fish for Christmas.

    No one makes fun of mom but me.

    By Anonymous dad, at 15/12/06 10:10  

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