Guide to Brazil (4): Language

Wired Magazine has this interesting story on using computers for translation, which outlines new efforts to make automatic translators suck less.

Of course, any translation necessary loses some nuances, you know, the je ne sais quoi of the language. To that end, dad wants to offer Lil' Genghis a good starting point with Brazilian Portuguese, showing the original English, the appropriate Brazilian-Portuguese, and the translated-back-into-English Engrish.

Let us begin.

I am very appreciative of Brazilian culture.
Eu desejo muitos mais geladas.
Bring more beer.

Could you point me toward the restroom?
Eu tive quatorze cervejas.
I had 14 beers.

I would like to talk to someone in authority.
Jeitinho?
Jeitinho?

I have been having a wonderful time and am enjoying my stay.
Eu nao sei tudo das putas morto na casa.
I don't know anything about the dead hookers in the house.

I believe you could learn a lot from American culture.
Meu nacao tenho armas nuclear.
We have nuclear weapons. Back off, bud, we're better.

I love your family's hospitality. Thank you.
Eu amo as coxinas da sua irma. Ele tem namorado?
Your sister has nice thighs. Does she have a boyfriend?

I would like to sample some of Brazil's finest cuisine.
Eu desejo filezinho e feijoada.
I'd like to have third-class beef grilled up in a bar, and understand your national dish involves the most disgusting parts of a pig.

My good man, could you recommend an evening's entertainment?
Minha bicha, eu desejo estar com sua mamae hoje.
Bitch, I'm here to see your mom for the night.

Your nation's hero traveled the world.
Seu heroi, Santos Dumont, foi um morde-fronha frances.
Your national hero was a gay Frog.

Both of our nations enjoy the challenge of spacetravel.
Quando esto os explosaos seguinte no Alcantara e Cape Canaveral?
When are the next explosions at Alcantara and Cape Canaveral?

Our nations have many things in common.
Os politicos, tudo de mundo, e corrupto.
Politicians all over the world are corrupt.

And so we start to introduce Lil' Genghis to her "other" language, knowing she'll enter into the world with a goal of being worldly.

And we'll also acknowledge that, if Brazilians don't like her American accept, she'll simply smile and think, Meu nacao tenho armas nuclear.