Lil' Genghis, future world leader Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Babies suck

mom and dad spent the morning at a breastfeeding class, part of their continuing effort to get all edumacated n stuff.

One true highlight: Many women suffer from a swelling of the breasts when excess milk makes them swell. Maternity wards in Australia and New Zealand stock cabbage for their patients because that's supposed to help. Then the true quote:
If cabbage seems weird to you, try frozen peas.
This, we couldn't have guessed. (Frozen peas are good for reducing swelling, possibly better than the blue ice packs, we were told.)

We also learned that babies suck. Babies well and truly suck. Babies suck so badly, in fact, that sucking comes second only to breathing.

You can have a baby suck down dinner, then offer baby a bottle and baby will just keep on sucking. Sucking is more important than eating. Babies just, well, suck.

In the early stages of development, of course, it's hard to tell if your Genghis is going to be a world leader or a worldly loser. Perhaps parents, unsure of their true ability to brag about potential, must walk around and say, "Wow! My baby really, really sucks!"

We'll find out soon enough.

EDIT: The swelling comes from excess milk, not water. Try not to rely on this blog for facts too much, though the bit about flourescent green puke was true.


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