Lil' Genghis, future world leader Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Saturday, January 20, 2007

The songs of a new generation

dad had to go to a dentist today for the worst kind of a root canal. He sat down to fill out the paperwork in the office and noticed a bunch of wet spots on the crotch of his pants. Ordinarilly, this would be embarrassing at best; but when stretched out in a dental chair, yeah, not good.

It turns out it was from the wet edge of a bathroom countertop, which always seems to be at the perfectly wrong height for embarrassing mistakes like this. However, all this led dad to think about the original plans for Lil' Genghis, when there was thoughts that she could be a he.

You see, every child learns little rhymes. Some are taught by their parents. A relevant one, in this case:
No matter how much you shake,
no matter how much you dance,
the last three drops
always wind up in your pants
Presumably this won't be particularly relevant now that we know Lil' Genghis is a girl, but surely there's a whole array of both Brazilian and American rhymes we can teach her. Ahh ... teaching her.

See, American kids at least from dad's generation were required to know at least 723 versions of alternate lyrics to "The Battle Hymn of the Republic". Most went something like this:
Mine eyes have seen the glory
of the burning of the school.
We have tortured all the teachers
and burned all the books ...
For a slightly younger generation, Uncle Boboli told me years ago, every kid at a summer camp knew roughly 14 alternative lyrics to the theme song from Barney, most of which involved decapitation of said Barney.

But, wait! Someone out there is protesting that all children rhymes need not be violent. Well, no. But some rhymes started off with nonsense and ended up with a violent reputation. Ain't childhood grand?

Addendum: A quick search turned up this list of children's rhymes. The first one listed, naturally enough, involves a freight- and personnel-carrying logistical structure exceeding its safety factor and thus resulting in impending structural failure.

And what kind of lesson does this leave for our children? Well, ... tell me there's not a kid in the world who didn't think this looked cool:


  • So I guess the Barney song is along the same lines of the one I know about killing him that we made up in high school.

    By Anonymous Leeanne, at 20/1/07 15:22  

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