Lil' Genghis, future world leader Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

Monday, March 05, 2007

What dad has learned

After two rounds of reading, dad just finished "The Expectant Father," a book he plans to sent to Aunt Rebecca's husband, Josh. Some things in this pregnancy were learned from books; others, from classes; still others, from observations.

So, dad here writes of the things he has learned so far:
  • Pregnant women may have identity crises. First might be the worry about whether they can become moms; then about whether they'll be good moms; then, DEAR JESUS IS THAT ME IN THE MIRROR? Support them, love them, hold them, tell them they're wonderful. They are, and they're also working damned hard.
  • A pregnancy can bring a couple closer together emotionally, even though she'll steal all the pillows, buy more, and then steal those, too.
  • Pregnancy can be very tough physically. People only talk about difficult deliveries, and of morning sickness. There's a whole lot more to it than that, and the paucity of conversation about the issue is awful.
  • Childbirth education classes should be taught as sex education classes in middle school. The teen pregnancy rate would plummet. Did you know most kids come out covered in white stuff that looks like cottage cheese? Have misshapen heads? Sometimes have fur? Nearly all will wind up with weird rashes and zits? No one talks about that, either, and it's odd. Our Lil' Genghis is going to be perfect in our eyes and lovable no matter what, but I'm glad we're prepared for the sights.
  • The Baby-Industrial Complex is in full swing. A huge chunk of the stuff "they" sell is actually dangerous, like those mirrors to watch your kid in the car seat; other stuff is physically harmful, such as the pacifiers designed around a chewed-up nipple. Did you know you're really not supposed to use diaper cream? Baby powder?
  • Family.

    Let me elaborate on that last one, because it sounds trite. Pregnancy gives you a whole new appreciation for family; it's all about expanding your family, after all, and about growing closer to your spouse, and trying to figure out how other family members will adjust. Family ties become even more important during pregnancy, and so family really is the most important thing to learn about here, and I mean that both quantitatively and qualitatively, for the size and type of family that you have and nurture during pregnancy will, more than anything, determine whether you ever get to shower at a time of your choosing.


    • mom points out she didn't steal all the pillows. dad agrees: He has a lumpy-ass Spongebob Squarepants pillow, which cost $3 from the grocery store. And that's one of the new ones! You don't want to know where the other ones went. =)

      By Anonymous dad, at 5/3/07 23:08  

    • There's a saying in Portuguese: in love and at war, anything goes. Let's add "in pregnancy" to that too.


      By Anonymous mom, at 5/3/07 23:10  

    • As part of your "whole new appreciation for family", you should check my Amazon Wishlist, it got lots of new items in it =)

      By Anonymous UncleRod, at 6/3/07 11:10  

    • What?....Cottage cheese? What else am I ill informed about. When does that book say the baby can get a job?

      By Anonymous Uncle Josh, at 7/3/07 05:03  

    • Josh, at three months, I think you can get the kid working papers ....
      The Gazette's hiring! :) No wait, I don't want to do that to the kid.

      By Anonymous Auntie Leeanne, at 8/3/07 11:47  

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